A year ago I did not feel this way. A year ago I wanted him to have to confess to everyone. I wanted others to know I was suffering because of him. Honestly, a year ago I had written a list on if I should stay married because Biblically it was ok to file for a divorce and I didn’t want to live in the mess our marriage was. But now a year later, I don’t want to share his name because I don’t want anyone thinking less of him. He’s my best friend, my husband. I’ve forgiven him and we have grown so much in this year. We aren’t perfect and our marriage is still growing. God has grown us both a lot.

One of the things I know from systems theory in psychology is that we can’t change other people; we can only change ourselves. But for some reason that understanding had trouble sinking in when it related to the kids,

I want to say that I had an immediate epiphany of this, but that is not the case at all. Every day as I am still walking in this season I have to make intentional choices, all day every day, to choose the Lord before the things of this world (Matthew 16:24-26). My caveat to these choices is this: we are going to mess up.